Village Sojourn –
Punjab 2014 September-October
There is a phrase in Punjabi that I heard many times but never tried to understand and this time for my sojourn in my village I had lots of time to read articles and I came across it again and understood its full meaning, the phrase says; jorian jag thorian narar bathere. The meaning and its impact made me aware of the social degradation that our Society has adopted despite the fact that Gurbani has tried to awaken us but we fail to learn. The phrase clearly says that there very few married couples who are compatible and complement each other and are soul mates the rest are all forced marriages .When I saw around the truth dawned upon me. The classified columns of all News papers for marriage alliances alone are enough to tell you the story. The seekers of marriage alliances are always demanding package deals and these deals sound like; son/ daughter is MBBS so only parents with MBBS daughters/son need to apply. Girl/boy should be IELTS or Nurse only then apply. Only those parents should apply who can take the younger brother of the girl abroad. We are Army officers for many generations so only parents suiting our status should apply. We are a status family apply only if you match our status. Reading these classified ads is so hilarious that if you want to have hearty laugh you don’t need a joke book. The sad part though remains unhappy, unmatched, fraudulent forced marriages that make everyone sad. A daughter-in-law from my village committed suicide and that made me so sad and helpless this time that I find it difficult to express my feelings and anger at the same time. The girl was a graduate and studying for her post graduation and was forced to live in the village by her soldier husband to look after his parents and the girl was facing one humiliation after another. The soldier had another affair and he forced her to listen to his video conferencing with his girl friend and humiliate her so much to force a divorce from her. The worst part is that his parents did not support the daughter-in- law. The tragedy was waiting to happen. Counselling services are not known in rural areas and so many precious lives take extreme step after being dejected.
Where is our society heading? The lure of the foreign has made many miserable. I met a girl in UK who belonged to a very rich Sikh family in Calcutta but her mother’s friends had all married their daughters in foreign so she also was forced to marry someone who was himself not legal citizen in UK so for many years both had to work for Desi shop owner and hide in his shop at nights. After 13 years they became legal citizens of UK but the terrible life style made that girl so sick that she lost her balance and dreads even the oncoming winter. She just cannot enjoy life any more. Is it just?
Punjab 2014 September-October
There is a phrase in Punjabi that I heard many times but never tried to understand and this time for my sojourn in my village I had lots of time to read articles and I came across it again and understood its full meaning, the phrase says; jorian jag thorian narar bathere. The meaning and its impact made me aware of the social degradation that our Society has adopted despite the fact that Gurbani has tried to awaken us but we fail to learn. The phrase clearly says that there very few married couples who are compatible and complement each other and are soul mates the rest are all forced marriages .When I saw around the truth dawned upon me. The classified columns of all News papers for marriage alliances alone are enough to tell you the story. The seekers of marriage alliances are always demanding package deals and these deals sound like; son/ daughter is MBBS so only parents with MBBS daughters/son need to apply. Girl/boy should be IELTS or Nurse only then apply. Only those parents should apply who can take the younger brother of the girl abroad. We are Army officers for many generations so only parents suiting our status should apply. We are a status family apply only if you match our status. Reading these classified ads is so hilarious that if you want to have hearty laugh you don’t need a joke book. The sad part though remains unhappy, unmatched, fraudulent forced marriages that make everyone sad. A daughter-in-law from my village committed suicide and that made me so sad and helpless this time that I find it difficult to express my feelings and anger at the same time. The girl was a graduate and studying for her post graduation and was forced to live in the village by her soldier husband to look after his parents and the girl was facing one humiliation after another. The soldier had another affair and he forced her to listen to his video conferencing with his girl friend and humiliate her so much to force a divorce from her. The worst part is that his parents did not support the daughter-in- law. The tragedy was waiting to happen. Counselling services are not known in rural areas and so many precious lives take extreme step after being dejected.
Where is our society heading? The lure of the foreign has made many miserable. I met a girl in UK who belonged to a very rich Sikh family in Calcutta but her mother’s friends had all married their daughters in foreign so she also was forced to marry someone who was himself not legal citizen in UK so for many years both had to work for Desi shop owner and hide in his shop at nights. After 13 years they became legal citizens of UK but the terrible life style made that girl so sick that she lost her balance and dreads even the oncoming winter. She just cannot enjoy life any more. Is it just?
It's heartbreaking to hear about that girl in your village.
ReplyDeleteOn that matrimonial thing I agreee with you.
So many precious lives are lost in India that making an actual account is impossible. It is not only the young who are at fault but the elders of the house have lost their perspective and support the wrong being done. Parents of the girls are equally at fault that they let things go out of hand and then react.
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